So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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