So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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