My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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