I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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