She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
