Don't you send me to vm
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
