so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
