you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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