I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
