she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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