these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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