Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
