he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so much tequila, so little girl.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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