My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The adults are the big ones right?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize