I want to have your abortion
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
