At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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