Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I believe in your delicious
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
