I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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