I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
