Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize