dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
