He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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