The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
