Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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