Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think people are normalizing furries
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
