i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
