I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
