Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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