It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am available for nakedness
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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