i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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