So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
