ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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