hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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