Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
