he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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