My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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