Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
