I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize