At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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