two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
