we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize