That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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