I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
