she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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