Define "chronic" masturbator.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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