trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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