let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
