I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was born a porn star she said
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
