he wants to bone in the snuggie
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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