She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize