I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
