is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
