Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I am morally bankrupt
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
