I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
