She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
