we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
is it fun? or sober?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
