You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
