what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
