i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
