2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she peed on how many people?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
