you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
