Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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