carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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