oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he thought i was a dude.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
