Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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