i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
