butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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